Attack of Gigantic Fat Cheney Head Comes to Violent, Adorable Conclusion

The giant, fat, oily Cheny head that has been terrorizing the city of Tokyo for the past week was finally felled last night by beloved local cutey, Tare Panda, who swooped down on Cheney as he scaled Tokyo Tower and wrestled him to the ground after he tried to bite the head off of Astro Boy.

Though the fallout from Fat Cheney Head-gate could mean trouble for the diplomatic relationship between Japan and the United States--especially if Astro Boy decides to sue--the citizens of the city are right now more concerned about commencing the rebuilding of their city after such a brutal attack from a fire-breathing monster. Again.

Prime Minister Abe's office released a statement expressing sadness at Vice President Cheney's completely wild descent into madness, canibalism, and infanticide, and pledged to call a hault to all state visits to Japan by Bush administration officials in order to avoid the devestation and carnage that has been left in the wake of Cheney's meltdown.

"As a preemptive measure against further attacks," Abe explained, "no member of the Bush team will be allowed in. Especially Condoleeza Rice. I mean, can you imagine? (Shudder)."

Moreover, Abe continued, Japan's diplomat to the United States, Ryozo Kato, has been given the ok to leave his shoes on when he visits U.S. officials' houses.

"Tit for tat," Abe said. "It's only fair."

Meanwhile, Tare Panda, already a wildly popular Japanese pop culture icon, is said to be forming an exploratory committee to investigate a possible run for higher office.