Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Though Still Excited to Get Autographs, Yuki and Her Friends Can't Help But Think Leo Should Really Lay Off the Gyudon

Even though they've waited their whole lives to glimpse dreamy American actor Leonardo Dicaprio in person, Yuki and her friends Yuka and Yoko couldn't ignore the cold, fat facts staring them in the face when they encountered Mr. DiCaprio during his Tokyo press junket for The Departed.

"The bloat is undeniable," said Yuki later to frustrated nods of agreement by her likewise disenchanted friends.

"Think about Titanic," Yoko sulked. "He was so wispy and girly. Like a man should be."

"I know, right?" Yuka agreed. "Now he's just a gigantic mound of epidermal ooze."

"So sad," sighed Yuki, checking out DiCaprio's fat penmanship in her autograph book. "It's like Judd Nelson all over again."

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