Sunday, March 18, 2007

Microsoft Windows Vista Rep: "For Some Reason, Asian Chicks Are Kind of Into Me"



"I don't know what it is about me, but whenever I do one of these junkets in an Asian country like China or Tokyo, all these sweet little Asian hotties in spangled cowboy hats, bikini tops, and short frilly skirts, or sometimes spandex tubetops and painted-on hotpants, will saddle up to me excitedly to have their pictures taken. Sometimes there'll be two, three, five at a time, all vying for my attention while the photographers snap their clickers.

I mean, it's not like I'm not used to being oggled at trade shows back home. But these geisha women are something else. And they're never over the age of 20. Yeah, I attract the young ones. They're always so eager to stand next to me with their arms alluringly folded in front of them in an elaborate Asian slipknot, or hold the Windows Vista box in their smooth, supple hands, or bend over a keyboard as I show them how to use the operating system, or simply stand next to me and point to the big Vista box in my hand, or sometimes tongue-kiss each other while rubbing themselves all over with the Vista. Ok, OK! I made that last one up. But believe me, these little Asian genies would probably be up for it! They know what a guy into computers wants to see!"

No comments: