Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Curiosity Corner: Heroes' Masi Oka in People Magazine's "Hottest Bachelors" Issue

We here at Japablum appreciate Masi Oka's stardom because we think all socially awkward nerds deserve to be featured in glossy celebrity weeklies. And now there's something to really celebrate: Oka-san, everyone's Asian best friend from high school, is listed among the hottest bachelors in the land. So what does this hunk of Japanese manmeat have to say for bookish brainiacs like his good self in his essay on page 125?

"Smart guys are going to make every relationship exciting, not just emotionally but physically because there are things that a creative mind has over just a hot smoking body."

Ok, we're doubtful, but go on....

"Yes, I am not the most muscular guy, but I can make any woman feel at ease."

Like chocolate or cheese.

"And also, women won't have to feel so conscious about themselves when they are with smart guys."

Or when they're wasted.

"I mean, I like to work out, but I don't want to be a gym rat. I would rather spend two hours hanging out with my partner."

You like to work out? Ok, then, how about a compromise? One hour, forty-five minutes at the gym, fifteen minutes with your partner. Free blowjobs at New York Sports Club on 23rd and 8th........

"I would rather have believed in someone and get hurt than live life with distrust."

Hmm. You're losing us. Maybe make an offhand reference to your smooth, sinewy thighs? Unbutton your top button? Put down the algebra book and make a muscle?

"I think smart guys make better boyfriends."

Sadly, we've already got one of those. Anyone got any cheese?

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