Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Mika Kano, Japan's Ministress of Ambrosia and Afros, Answers Your Questions

Dear Mika,

Longtime reader, first-time writer. I love your boobs. Anyway, I've been troubled lately. There are so many horrible things happening in the world every day, like war, bombs, genocide, famine, and religious extremism. I sometimes can't even get out of bed in the morning, weighed down as I am with thoughts of orphaned children starving, suicide bombers taking innocent bystanders down with them to the uncertainty of the afterlife, and petrified young soldiers living daily through a bloody war without end. So I ask you, Mika, my beacon in this whirling shitstorm, how do you make sure that your skin stays supple but not too dry during the cooler months, and how on earth do you keep your pores from becoming too oily in the stinky hot summer?

Annabel in Annapolis


Dear Annabel,

It sounds like you've had a really hard time lately. You really should isolate yourself more from the world. Go see movies alone on Saturday afternoons. Decline party invitations. Sit in your bedroom on the hardwood floor sipping a cheap Cabernet and turning on and off the table lamp over and over and over until you feel like you're absolutely losing your mind. Most of all, have fun!

Mika :-)

No comments: