Well, it's been a few months since Tokyo was attacked by a giant reptilian creature from the netherworld, and every Tokyoite knows that the peace and quiet can only last so long. This evening all the carefree fun and games came to an abrupt halt when the gigantic, frightfully tubular and leathery neck of American conservative commentator Ann Coulter descended upon the Don Quixote costume shop in the city's Shinjuku district.
Ann Coulter's neck, which has been scaring the shit out of innocent Americans for more than ten years, is reportedly trying to branch out and internationalize its trail of horror and devastation.
"I don't understand," said Mos Burger employee Yoshi Yamagawa, reacting to the giant floating patch of aging skin as it hovered over his place of work. "Why when all these crazy Americans want to tear some shit up, they have to come to Tokyo? Why can't they go to Seoul or freaking Hong Kong every once in a while?" He then added, "Do you know how many babies Dick Cheney ate when he was here? My God!"
Coulter's neck reportedly terrorized Shinjuku residents for two-to-three hours with its views on liberals and the 9/11 widows before taking a break and visiting Harajuku to do some shoe shopping. It was last seen sipping an appletini and rubbing up on Tokyo Tower.
Developing......
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