Japablum Loves Maya Rudolph

Both of our readers have been asking us in recent weeks, "Japablum, where you been in these recent days? Wherefore not you posting very much?" And our answer is the same as it ever was: Japablum is lazy. Also: alas, we didn't reach our goal this year of increasing our readership to three readers, so we're doing what comes natural and taking it out on our present readership by not posting anything. In your face, two readers.

Anyway, what with the holiday cheer suffocating us to death as we walk down Brooklyn's finer avenues, we have started to feel remiss. So we're taking a break from lounging in our egg nog truffle bath and posting this excellent all-Japanese Saturday Night Live clip from a few years ago or something. Lose yourself in Maya Rudolph's excellent pronunciation. (We're talking to you, Mickey Rooney.) Laugh knowingly as the Japanese Lenny and Squiggy mistakenly keep saying "I understand!" ("Wakarimasu!") instead of "I don't know!" ("Wakarimasen!"). We feel more energized already.

Pwecious Wittle Pandas Dept: Panda Death Match

A fight to the death at Adventure World in Shirahama, Japan. Japablum's money is on the black and white one.

Singer Kumi Koda Scared, Unsure What's Going On

"I don't know, they just told me to show up in a blue dress. I thought it was a movie premier, you know? Like I was gonna get to meet one of those hot new American movie stars, like Dane Cook or something. But I wasn't expecting to hang around with a bunch of guys with shiny blue faces who don't say anything. They're scaring me. Do I have to hang out with them all night? I need to talk to my agent. And my dealer."