Japablum Jukebox: The Creatures

Japablum celebrates the recent birthday of our fairy godmother Siouxsie Sioux this week with her homage to the misunderstood and really quite charming Japanese nuclear monster Godzilla. She's accompanied by two fellow creatures Budgie (her hubbie, ex of the Banshees) and former Kodo drummer Leonard Eto on drums. Lots and lots of drums.

Track: Godzilla
Translation: Gojira

Staring Contest Between Godzilla and Giant Salaryman Entering Forty-ninth Hour

Japablum has just learned that an impromptu staring contest that started at an office party in Tokyo between giant lizard Godzilla and even more giant salaryman Nobu has just entered its forty-ninth hour.

"It all started when Godzilla made a harmless comment about Nobu needing a haircut," a fellow office worker, Megumi Sato, said. "And, damn, Nobu got pissed."

"They both had had a little to drink by that time," she continued. "Things just started getting a little out of hand. I mean, they wouldn't stop staring silently at each other."

"It was really awkward at first," another colleague, Tomofumi Ueno, said. "But after the first hour, everyone else just went back to talking and drinking. We weren't going to let their staring contest ruin Takeo's management promotion party. That's not fair to him."

"You know," Megumi continued, "Nobu is a little bit sensitive about being so gigantic. Sometimes his sensitivity spills over into abject paranoia. We're all fine with his size. It doesn't bother us at all. We even built a special 10-story warehouse adjacent to our main building so he could have his own office but still, you know, hear what's happening around the water cooler."

"But when Godzilla made that comment about his hair, he just snapped, and that's when the staring started."

The party was declared officially over by the ceremonial ringing of the "party over" bell at 11:30pm, but the staring continued into the night and all day Saturday. By Sunday, the two were still at it and neither showed any signs of ceding ground.

"This is the most incredible staring contest I've ever witnessed," Tetsuo the nighwatchman said. "It's so much more intense and bitter than that one last Christmas between Mothra and Michiko the 50-foot woman in human resources.

Metro Report: Fearless Salaryman Challenges Godzilla to Duel

In a shocking display of misguided machismo, Taro Yamaguchi, a worker at a Tokyo electronics company, challenged local fire-breathing monster Godzilla to a duel while both were taking in an exhibit at the new National Art Center of Tokyo.

Circling the surprised monster, Yamaguchi was overheard calling him "a filthy lizard" who he, Yamaguchi, is "not afraid of."

Shocked museum-goers watched as Godzilla put down his Boujelais and his rice cracker smeared with brie, stomped on them, and bellowed an incomprehensible rejoinder that one young woman, Yuki Takada, could only describe as "the indecent, unrepeatable words of a very unhappy nuclear reptile."

"Ok, that's it," Yamaguchi replied, as he slammed his briefcase to the floor, removed his eyeglasses, and cleaned them with a soft cloth, with which he then slapped the giant monster on the side of the face. "Pistols at 8, you tired old fool!"

Godzilla, who apparently already had plans at 8, then ignited the ballsy salaryman with one powerful exhalation and went back to browsing the "The Power of Expression, Japan" exhibit.

Breaking: Son of Godzilla Lactose Intolerant!

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If you see him, do not give him ice cream!