Culture Report: Annual Japanese Shit Bath Held in Hakone

Surely the most mysterious of all esoteric Japanese customs, this ritual is held in a different Japanese shithole each year. 2007's shithole is Hakone, one of the most popular hot springs resort towns in the country. The shitbath, or "kusofuro," is taken as a way to mortify and purify the body simultaneously in anticipation of the coming of the cherry blossoms. Or some such.

For the record, Japablum isn't down with this shit. This shit is wack. We're shit scared. What kind of shit is this?

And what are you hoping to see with those goggles, little girl?

A Celebration of Japanese Lesbianism

A chocolate statue of two ladypops going at it was unveiled in Tokyo this week. On hand was Japablum's own bodacious advice columnist Mika Kano, right, whose soft, supple, seldom unphotographed body was used as a model for the two chocolate mufftroopers. So in a way, a chocolate-covered Mika Kano is doing it with herself. Japablum's head is exploding.

On hand for the unveiling were Prime Minister Abe, his entire cabinet, the entire male membership of the Japanese Diet, including every last man from the House of Representatives and the House of Councillors, and every male member of the Japanese citizenry from Hokkaido to Kyushu. There were also a few Russians.

Japablum was the only attendee that brought a fork and a glass of milk.

Culture Report: Baseball Fan Daisuke Matsuzuka to be Paid $52 million to Instruct Boston Red Sox in Fine Arts of Japanese Calligraphy, Ikebana

Just another overpaid teacher.....